From Resistnace to Buy in: Coaching Through REBT in Team Meetings

From Resistnace to Buy in: Coaching Through REBT in Team Meetings

Jul 28, 2025

Resistance in team meetings isn’t always loud or disruptive. Sometimes it’s the silence after a new idea is introduced. The lack of eye contact. The hesitant nods. You know the signs—but how do you move your team from passive resistance to genuine buy-in?

One powerful approach is using Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) principles to coach your team through their inner barriers. REBT helps people uncover the beliefs behind their reactions—and in team settings, those beliefs often explain why great ideas stall.

The Real Reason Behind Resistance

Let’s say you’re introducing a new workflow to streamline reporting. You’ve explained the benefits clearly, and leadership is on board. But in the meeting, Sam crosses his arms and says, “We’ve tried stuff like this before. It never works.”

At first glance, it looks like Sam is just being negative. But REBT teaches us to go deeper.

Sam’s reaction likely stems from an irrational belief, such as:

👉 “If a process failed in the past, any new one will fail too.”

👉 “Change must always come with guarantees.”

👉 “I can’t stand another failed initiative—it would be unbearable.”

REBT helps us coach people out of these mental traps by focusing on the beliefs, not just the behaviours.

Step 1: Create Space to Surface Beliefs

Instead of pushing forward, slow down and ask open-ended questions:

  • “Sam, I can see this is frustrating—what’s your biggest concern about this change?”
  • “What do you think will happen if we try this new approach?”
  • “What’s something that would need to be true for you to feel more confident about this?”

These questions help surface the B in REBT’s ABC model:

A = Activating event (the proposed change)

B = Beliefs about the event

C = Consequences (emotions/behaviours)

By inviting beliefs into the conversation, you shift the dynamic from confrontation to curiosity.

Step 2: Dispute the Unhelpful Belief—Gently

Once a belief surfaces, don’t rush to correct it. Instead, coach the team member through the three core REBT questions:

  • Is it true?
  • “Has every change really failed? Were there any that worked?”
  • Is it logical?
  • “Does it really follow that one past failure guarantees another?”
  • Is it helpful?
  • “How does holding this belief affect your willingness to engage and adapt?”

This method doesn’t shame people into agreement—it empowers them to think more flexibly.

Step 3: Reinforce a Rational Alternative

Once the unhelpful belief is questioned, offer or invite a more rational one:

  • “Past attempts haven’t worked, but this one has a different structure—I can give it a fair shot.”
  • “Change doesn’t need to be perfect to be worth trying.”
  • “Even if this isn’t perfect, I can handle it and give useful feedback.”

Model this reframing in your language too. Your tone and responses teach the team how to think, not just what to do.

Final Thought: Coaching Is Culture Work

When you coach your team through resistance using REBT, you're doing more than addressing a one-off objection—you’re building a psychologically safe space where people learn to challenge their own thinking.
That’s the difference between temporary compliance and long-term buy-in.

💬 Reflection prompt for leaders:

Next time you hear resistance in a meeting, ask yourself: What belief might be driving this reaction? And how can I help them see it more clearly?