The Psychological Toll of Gaslighting and How to Overcome It

The Psychological Toll of Gaslighting and How to Overcome It

Mar 25, 2025

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used to distort your sense of reality, making you doubt your thoughts, emotions, and even memories. Over time, this insidious form of psychological abuse can erode self-confidence, create chronic self-doubt, and lead to long-term emotional distress. Understanding its impact and learning how to counter it is crucial for mental well-being and resilience.


Gaslighting doesn’t just confuse you in the moment—it has lasting consequences:

  • Self-Doubt and Anxiety – Constantly second-guessing yourself leads to heightened anxiety and an inability to trust your own judgment.
  • Low Self-Esteem – Repeatedly being told you are “too sensitive” or “imagining things” can make you feel inherently flawed or unworthy.
  • Emotional Dependence – Victims often become reliant on the gaslighter for validation, as they begin to distrust their own perceptions.
  • Cognitive Dissonance – Holding conflicting beliefs about reality (your experiences vs. what the gaslighter tells you) creates psychological distress.
  • PTSD and Depression – Prolonged gaslighting can result in trauma symptoms, including hypervigilance, sadness, and withdrawal from others.

Emma had always been confident in her ability to lead projects at work—until she started reporting to Alex. Every time she raised a concern, he dismissed it as “overreacting.” When she questioned inconsistent instructions, he accused her of “misremembering.” Over time, Emma started doubting her own competence, feeling anxious before every meeting, and even apologizing for things she wasn’t responsible for. It wasn’t until a colleague pointed out the same contradictions that she realized—she wasn’t the problem.


3 Steps to Reclaim Your Reality

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) can help counteract the effects of gaslighting by challenging irrational beliefs and reinforcing healthy thinking patterns.


Identify and Challenge Irrational Beliefs

  • Gaslighting instills beliefs like: “I must always be wrong if they say so” or “If I can’t prove it, then my thoughts aren’t valid.”
  • Ask yourself: Is this belief true? Does it logically follow? Is it helping me?
  • Counter with rational alternatives: “I have a right to trust my own experiences even if others disagree.”


Reaffirm Your Perception and Emotional Responses

  • Keep a journal to track conversations, events, and feelings. Writing things down helps validate your experiences and reduces self-doubt.
  • Recognize emotional manipulation by labeling it: “I feel anxious because they are contradicting me, not because I am wrong.”


Set Boundaries and Seek External Validation

  • Surround yourself with supportive people who reinforce your reality and remind you of your worth.
  • If someone consistently invalidates you, limit interactions or assertively respond with statements like: “I trust my memory of this situation.”
  • Seek professional help if necessary—REBT with a therapist can be an effective tool in rebuilding self-confidence and mental resilience.


Gaslighting is a deeply harmful experience, but it does not have to define you. By applying REBT principles, you can dismantle the irrational beliefs gaslighting instills, reaffirm your perceptions, and take control of your reality. Trust yourself—you deserve clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.