What's Really Holding Your Team Back from Change? REBT Can Help You Find Out

Change initiatives often fail not because the change itself is flawed, but because team members resist it. Leaders often focus on tactics—communication plans, timelines, new systems—without addressing the internal resistance rooted in unspoken beliefs.

To move from resistance to resilience, we need to go deeper. That’s where Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) offers a powerful framework. It helps uncover not just what people are reacting to, but why they’re reacting that way.

The REBT Lens: It’s Not the Change, It’s the Belief Behind It

REBT teaches that it’s not events themselves (called activating events or activators) that cause emotional or behavioural responses, but rather the beliefs we hold about those events.

In the workplace, the activator might be a change to structure, systems, or leadership. But the real resistance comes from the beliefs that team members attach to those changes—often without even realising it.

A Real Example: “They Changed the Reporting Lines Again”

Let’s say your team member, Sam, becomes withdrawn and passive-aggressive after a restructure. The activator? New reporting lines. But that alone doesn’t explain Sam’s behaviour.
Using REBT, you look beneath the surface.
Sam’s belief might be:

“If I’m no longer reporting to the senior leader, it means I’m not important anymore. I must be seen as important to feel secure.”

This belief triggers emotions like anxiety and resentment, and behaviours like disengagement or sabotage.

Step 1: Identify the Activators

Start with the facts. What’s changing? What specific event or shift has triggered a reaction?
Common activators:

• New leadership
• Process changes
• Team restructures
• Technology upgrades
• Role redefinition

Ask your team:

• “What’s been difficult for you about this change?”
• “What are you most concerned about?”
• “What did this change signal to you?”

You’re looking for the trigger—not the belief—just yet.

Step 2: Explore the Beliefs

Now go deeper. What does the change mean to them? This is where irrational beliefs show up.

REBT classifies unhelpful beliefs into three common categories:
Beliefs about: Self, Others or Circumstances. This irrational beliefs manifest as:

1. Demandingness – “This change must not happen.”
2. Awfulising – “It’s terrible and unbearable if this happens.”
3. Low Frustration Tolerance – “I can’t cope with this change.”
4. Self/Other Damning – “I failed / they’re incompetent for doing this.”

Ask:

• “What do you believe this change says about you, your role, or your future?”
• “What story are you telling yourself about this?”
• “What would it mean if the worst happened?”

Listen for rigid, extreme, or all-or-nothing thinking.

Step 3: Challenge and Reframe

Once beliefs are identified, you can help team members dispute them by asking:

• Is it true?
• Does it logically follow?
• Is it helping you cope or grow?

Support them to move toward more rational, flexible beliefs like:

• “Change is uncomfortable, but I can adapt.”
• “This doesn’t mean I’m less valuable.”
• “It’s not ideal, but I can still thrive in this new structure.”

Encourage curiosity over certainty. Flexibility over control. Accepting themselves as fallible worthwhile human beings over defining self worth from success in their role.

Final Thought: Leaders Set the Tone

Leaders can create psychologically safe spaces for team members to surface these beliefs—without shame or defensiveness. By using the REBT model in coaching, one-on-ones, and team discussions, you equip your team to understand themselves, not just the change.

Because in the end, it’s rarely the change that breaks people.
It’s the belief that they can’t handle it.
And the good news? Beliefs can be changed.

Need help unpacking your team's resistance to change?

I offer keynotes and workshops that blend mental health science and workplace strategy, helping leaders build resilience from the inside out. Let’s talk.