Why Self Acceptance Is Key in Overcoming Gaslighting

Why Self Acceptance Is Key in Overcoming Gaslighting

Apr 22, 2025

Gaslighting can make you question everything—your memories, your emotions, your instincts, and eventually, your sense of self. It's one of the most insidious forms of emotional manipulation because it slowly erodes your confidence from the inside out. But there's one powerful antidote that can help rebuild your resilience and sense of reality: self-acceptance.


A client once shared how, after years of working under a manager who constantly undermined her contributions, she began to doubt her capabilities. He would reframe her successful projects as team efforts, nitpick over small errors, and dismiss her concerns by saying she was “too sensitive.” Over time, she internalized his version of events, believing she truly wasn’t good enough.
The turning point came when she began working with a therapist who introduced her to the idea of unconditional self-acceptance. Instead of trying to win her manager’s approval or prove her worth, she began to validate her own experience. She told me, “I finally started saying to myself, ‘Even if I make mistakes, I’m still worthy. I don’t need to be perfect to respect myself.’” That shift helped her rebuild her confidence, recognize the gaslighting for what it was, and eventually leave that toxic environment.

Why Self-Acceptance Matters

Gaslighting works by attacking your perception of yourself and the world around you. When you begin to accept yourself—flaws, strengths, and all—you create a solid foundation that’s much harder to shake. Self-acceptance helps you:

  • Trust your own reality. You stop needing constant external validation to know what you feel or remember is real.
  • Protect your boundaries. You begin to say “No” without guilt and “Yes” with intention.
  • Recover your voice. You reconnect with your inner truth and stop silencing yourself to appease others.

3 Steps to Cultivate Self-Acceptance and Overcome Gaslighting

1. Challenge the Inner Critic

Gaslighting often leaves behind a harsh internal voice. Start noticing when your inner dialogue mirrors the gaslighter’s words. Ask yourself:

  • Is this belief helpful?
  • Is it true—or have I just heard it so many times I’ve accepted it?

Replace the criticism with self-affirming truths, even if they feel awkward at first. Over time, your brain starts to adapt to this new, compassionate narrative.


2. Practice Emotional Validation

One of the cruelest effects of gaslighting is the belief that your feelings are wrong. To counteract this:

  • Acknowledge your emotions without judgment.
  • Say things like, “It’s okay to feel hurt,” or “It makes sense I’m upset.”
  • Journal your experiences to reinforce your own perception of events.

This helps you rebuild the habit of trusting yourself again.


3. Commit to Unconditional Self-Acceptance

This is a core concept in Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT). It means accepting yourself fully—even when you fail, fall short, or feel broken.

  • Remind yourself: I am valuable and worthy, not because of what I achieve or how others treat me, but because I exist.
  • Write this down. Say it daily. Live it until it becomes your new normal.


Gaslighting strips away your confidence. Self-acceptance gives it back. When you learn to validate your own emotions, trust your experiences, and love yourself regardless of others' opinions, you become far less vulnerable to manipulation—and far more powerful in your own life.